Look-A-Like Meter

OK, so my friend Steph found this look-a-like meter on the web. You're supposed to put in a pic of yourself, your spouse and your child and it will tell you which parent the child looks like. So I tried it, but I must not have used very good pics because it said Morgan looks more like me and I know she is the spittin' image of Rich. It also said that Daniel looks equally like both of us and I know he looks more like me. Kathryn probably does look pretty equally like both of us. Anyway, it was kind of fun, so here they are...

MB Look-alike Meter

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Roots

KB Look-alike Meter

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celeb - Collage - Morph

DB Look-alike Meter

MyHeritage: Look-alike Meter - Family reunion - Vintage images

CAMERAAAA!!!!!!!

I finally bought a new camera! Can you believe it? It's about time, huh? We all had to try it out today taking pics of each other, so here they are, the happy family....

Pretty scary huh? :) Anyway, hopefully now I can start posting more pics.

What a Man! What a Man! What a Mighty Fine Man!

He did it! Rich fixed the puter that was broken! All it needed was a new power supply and he put one in! He is so handy, I think he can fix just about anything that breaks down (except my van)! :) Guess I'll have to keep him around! :p

How Many People in the US Have Your Name?

My friend, Gail, sent me an email with a link to this cool site where you can find out how many people in the US have your name. Apparently there 16,691 people in the US with the first name Roxie, but this website said that it could not find any other people with the last name of Beishline, which I know is not true. So it says there are no other Roxie Beishline's in the US, which may be true, not too common a name. Anyway, I added the link to my side bar if you'd like to try it. Kinda fun!

On Being A Mom

Sometimes it can be very frustrating being a mom. A friend of mine sent me the following story, author unknown, and I thought it summed up my feelings exactly so I wanted to share it with you. Enjoy.

I am invisible. It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, "Can't you see I'm on the phone?" Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, "What time is it?" I'm a satellite guide to answer, "What number is the Disney Channel?" I'm a car to order, "Right around 5:30, please." I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going ... she's going .... she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself as I looked down at my out-of-style dress; it was the only thing I could find that was clean. My unwashed hair was pulled up in a banana clip and I was afraid I could actually smell peanut butter in it. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, "I brought you this." It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read the inscription: "With admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees." In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:
* No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
* These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
* They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
* The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, "Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it." And the workman replied, "Because God sees." I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, "I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become." At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, "My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table." That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, "You're gonna love it there." As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot see if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women. author unknown

Our responsibility is only to be obedient and to do the best job we can in raising our children, we're not perfect, but God is, so let's trust him to take our sacrifices and use them for His glory.

Puter Died

I just wanted everyone to know my computer died last week so that's why I haven't been posting. We still have a computer in Daniels room but it's REALLY slow and I hate using it. So I probably won't be posting as often unless something happens that I just have to tell everyone, at least until we get a new one.

Update on To Go or Not To Go

Thank you all for voting and commenting on whether or not we should let Daniel go to the game. I really appreciate all of the input I received and agree with everyone. Here's what we have decided to do...We told him that we thought he had worked very hard to bring his grades up and we were really proud of him for all his hard work, yet he had not acheived the goal of straight A's. So we asked him to choose another goal that would be a challenge for him yet something he could acheive in order to get to go to the game and he has chosen something that will probably be more of a challenge to him than straight A's. Only time will tell if he acheives his new goal, I'll try to keep you updated. We also encouraged him to try to keep his grades up and not let them get as low as a C again. I believe he will do it! Thanks again!

Deception

OK, I know you have to pick your battles and this probably wouldn't have been a big deal if I had just let it go...now, that being said, let me tell you a story to show you how my 4-year-old thinks.

Last Friday morning I was helping her get ready for school. I brushed her hair and asked if she wanted to wear a hair bow in her hair, she said no. I moved on to brush her sisters hair, asked her sister if she wanted a hair bow, she said yes. Well then the little one decides she wants a hair bow too. So I send them both to the bathroom to pick out hair bows. Now, on Fridays they wear their school spirit shirts which are red with royal blue writing on them. The little one comes back with 2 barrettes, a brown one and a purple one. So I tell her that she can't wear those because not only do they not match each other but they don't match what she is wearing. She proceeds to tell me..."But, I want to." So I tell her she can wear the brown one but not the purple. Then she sees laying in her room some old hair clips that I used to use but now I let them play with them. One is red and one is light blue. See Pic...

So she decides she wants to wear them in her hair. I again tell her no and she starts arguing with me. It is now time to leave so I walk out of the room and tell her father to please take care of it because she listens to him better than she listens to me. So he calls for her, it takes her awhile to come, but she does come out with nothing in her hair, then he just tells her to listen to her mother. I take them all to school.
When I go to pick my little one up after school she has the 2 barrettes in her hair, the brown one and the purple one. So I asked her where they came from. She says, "someone at school gave them to me." I tell her "no they didn't, you had those at home this morning, did you stick them in your pocket and put them on after you got to school?" Reply..."no." Me..."yes you did. Don't lie about it." No answer.
Unfortunately looking back on it I really dropped the ball on the parenting with this one. First of all, I should've let her wear whatever she wanted in her hair, so what if it didn't match, no big deal. Secondly, after the deception I didn't really do anything about it other than tell her not to lie. There were no consequences for her behavior at all, I just let it go. I guess I was feeling guilty about making such a big deal about the hair bows in the first place.
However, I have never in my life heard of a 4-year-old that has this thought process...mom won't let me wear them, I'll just stick 'em in my pocket and put 'em on when I get to school! What 4-year-old thinks like this besides mine? I flashed forward a few years, probably around 5 or 6 years from now, and imagined her sneaking make-up to school and putting it on there. Anyway, I just thought I'd share my struggles in parenting. Am I the only one who has this problem?

A Father's Love

My 7-year-old daughter has eczema and very sensitive skin. So therefore she has a VERY low pain tolerance. Well, last Monday when it was time to go to her tumbling class she asked if she could wear her shoes without socks because she had a blister on the bottom of her foot and it hurt. (???what does that have to do with wearing socks???) Anyway, I asked to see this blister. Well, it was actually a splinter in the bottom of her foot and we didn't have time to get it out then or she would've been late for tumbling. So I told her we would get it out later. Of course, after tumbling I'm thinking about getting supper on and getting the girls to bed, so I forgot all about the splinter and she didn't bother reminding me.

Now it's Tuesday night and I had to go to a rehearsal, so that left daddy to make sure the girls got bathed. I guess her foot was hurting her again because somehow daddy found out about it and after looking at it (he said it had pus) decided it had to come out. Well, needless to say, he said there was much screaming & crying. After soaking her foot and trying to get it out with tweezers he finally just used his mouth and sucked it out! I know, gross! Anyway, by the time I got home it was all over! Hallelujah! and they were both fine, not upset at all.

It must've really been hurting her before because Wednesday morning she said, "My foot's all better! I don't have to walk around on my tippy toes any more!" ???You were walking around on your tiptoes? Since when???

Anyway, I figure that must be true love, to suck a splinter out of the bottom of a 7-year-olds foot. Yuck! It's a good thing he was here, 'cause I would've just kept digging at it with the tweezers! :o

To Go or Not To Go

My 12-year-old son has always been very intelligent, ahead of others his age. All the way through school, until last year, he received straight A's. Last year he received A's & B's. Still good, really no complaint, (even though I feel like he doesn't really apply himself or he would get straight A's), but I'm not really pushing it. He's in the Gifted & Talented program (which I could go on and on about in another post, but I'm not going to go there). This year when he received his grades mid-semester he had A's, B's & one C. Now mind you is a HUGE sports fanatic, so to motivate him to bring his grades up by the end of the semester I told him that if he would bring his grades up to straight A's I would get him tickets to a Dallas Mavericks game. Yesterday he received his report card and he did bring all of them up, but not to straight A's. Here are his mid-semester grades and his end of semester grades:

Subject 1 - mid-semester - 86, end of semester - 90
Subject 2 - mid-semester - 74, end of semester - 85
Subject 3 - mid-semester - 87, end of semester - 90
Subject 4 - mid-semester - 91, end of semester - 92
Subject 5 - mid-semester - 81, end of semester - 88

So he received 3 A's & 2 B's. Now I think that is GREAT and he really did try, but some of them were already so low by mid-semester he had a hard time bringing them up to A's. So here is my dilemma...he still wants to go to a Mavs game. Do I stick to my guns and say "no, the deal was all A's" or do I extend the grace I mentioned in yesterdays post and let him go anyway? I'm going to put a poll up and let you, the reader, give your opinion. Of course, feel free to leave comments as well. Thanks!

Deep Thoughts on Perfection

I had been feeling a little guilty that most of my posts had come across as negative or complaining, and I didn't want anyone to have that impression. Then today, as I was reading a devotional magazine, God really used the following article to speak to me and I wanted to share it with you. It was written by Melinda Means and is titled "In Search of Perfection."

One day after a particularly challenging week of parenting. I was relating to a friend some of the week's misadventures and commenting how nice it would be to have naturally compliant children. She looked amused, smiled at me, and said, "They sound normal to me. What are you expecting - perfection?"

Ouch! What a word aptly spoken - and a sorely needed reminder! It is perilous to expect perfection from ourselves and perhaps even more hazardous to expect it from others. Perfectionism is a thief that robs us of victory. Have you ever had these thoughts? You'll never measure up. If you were a good mother/wife/Christian, you'd have it all together. You're a phony. I sure have, but I've begun to recognize them for what they are: lies from the enemy.

Even as God began to prompt me to write on this subject, I could hear Satan whispering, "You think you're some kind of expert?" Amazingly, God uses our brokenness and vulnerability for our good and His glory. In His abundant patience, God has shown me how few things can choke the life out of living like a person possessed by perfectionism.

The older I get, the more I learn to appreciate God's grace and faithfulness to me, yet I still struggle to give genuine grace to others. My kids love to get pizza on Fridays at school, but they know the only way to get it is to eat all their packed lunches throughout the week, and they usually do. One Friday morning, however, my daughter begged me to let her get pizza, even though she knew she really hadn't earned it. Being a wonderful gracious mother, I made an exception. However, I actually made her write down that I had given her "grace" on this day so I could remind her of it the next time she accused me of being unreasonable!

How many times have you said, "Someday, I'm going to write that book, start that Bible study, clean that closet...?" Do you put off projects until you can do them perfectly? God does not expect perfection from His servants (Psalm 103:8-10), but he does require action! Ephesians 2:10 says we are "created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them." Making mistakes is inevitable. Missing God's calling because I'm focused on achieving perfection would be devastating.

I got a wake-up call a few years ago when I wrote our Christmas letter and talked about how much I enjoyed being a stay-at-home mom. My husband read my letter and laughed. "It sure doesn't seem like it," he said, a little bemused. I was so offended! Eventually, I had to humbly admit that he was right. I searched to analyze why. It led me right to the room of perfectionism. My impatience and frustration with my shortcomings and everyone else's pretty much sucked all the fun out of my rooms!

Count your blessings. I have found a prayer journal to be a great record and reminder of answered prayer. When I regularly remember God's grace to me, I'm more apt to give it to others. In Deuteronomy 8:2, Moses encourages the Israelites to "Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart" (NIV).

Accept that life is messy - and lighten up! Years ago, I remember taking my then 3 -year-old daughter and 10-month-old son to have their Christmas pictures taken. I had found the perfect outfits. Their hair was perfectly styled. I timed it perfectly - right after nap time. Then life got messy. Halfway to the mall, my son spit up on his adorable outfit. Half a tub of baby wipes later, he sparkled. Triumphantly, I lifted him out of his car seat just as he had a diaper blowout of legendary proportions - and now I was out of baby wipes. Wrapping him in a blanket, I headed for the closest bathroom. On the way, my daughter fell, tearing a huge hole in her white tights. Once in the bathroom, I was faced with the reality that it had only hand dryers and not paper towels! With my 3-year-old handing me reams of toilet paper, we finally became presentable (if not fragrant) and actually got the photo taken! I smile every time I see that photo, but I was so upset at the time. How silly! Life would often be boring and joyless if everything went according to our plan.

Ask yourself daily what is most important. Jesus regularly withdrew from the crowds and demands of His earthly ministry to spend time with the Father (Matthew 14:22-23). He knew that despite all the legitimate needs vying for His attention, regular time with the Father had to be His top priority. It fueled His ability to prioritize and accomplish everything else God called Him to do in His earthly ministry. God set Jesus' agenda. We should allow Him to set ours as well. Prayerfully make a list of priorities - and consult it often.

Be flexible. A dear friend of mine calls it being "interruptible." Recently, this same friend called me to help out in the nursery one morning while a group of our young moms held Bible study. I had mounds of laundry and a messy house. Every fiber of my being wanted to say no. Yet, I felt led to say yes. I enjoyed it so much that I volunteer every week now! A completed to-do list might bring a measure of satisfaction, but it's a hollow victory if I've missed opportunities to bless and be blessed because I'm unwilling to veer from my agenda.

God wants to meet us in our messes. Ask God to help you view your inadequacies as opportunities for Him to shine. He can use our imperfections to fulfill His perfect plan for our lives.

Then, in like a little post note, the magazine went on to say:

Whether it's expecting perfect behavior from a child or expecting a husband to know our needs without being told, unrealistic expectations can lead to unresolved anger and resentment. The good news is that God is always available and can guide us in examining our attitudes to determine whether we're expecting too much from others or from ourselves. He can work in our willing hearts to replace perfectionism with patience and to match our expectations with our gifts, abilities, and realities.

Ouch! I have to admit that I could really see myself in that article. In my post "The Worst Day of My Life" I mentioned how this child expects perfection from themselves, now I'm beginning to see that they probably get that from me. Like the author of the article my hubby has said to me before that I don't seem happy to be a stay-at-home mom because I'm constantly complaining about something. Yes, it can be frustrating being a stay-at-home mom but it can also be very rewarding at times, and I don't want to pass this negativity on to my children. This is something that I struggle with daily and part of the reason I struggle with it is because I also struggle with spending time in prayer daily. I read my Bible and devotional magazine and maybe say a short prayer then mentally check it off my to-do list. But when do I ever spend quality time in prayer actually having two-way communication with God, not only pouring my heart out to Him but listening to Him as well?

I know this is probably something that most Christians struggle with because this is an area where Satan focuses on attacking us. If he can keep us from having a strong relationship with God, which can only come through prayer, then we become ineffective Christians, we're not filled with God's Spirit, therefore we have no spiritual power, no discernment and no joy. When I don't spend time with God every day I'm more apt to see flaws in others and not exercise grace.

In dealing with my children this is a very fine line, disciplining when needed, encouraging when needed or offering grace when needed. How am I supposed to have the wisdom to know what each child, whose individual needs are different, needs in any particular circumstance if I haven't been filled with God's Spirit that day by spending time with Him.

Here once again it's easy to fall into the trap of expecting perfection from myself in the area of prayer. I have to remember that yes, it is very important to every Christians health, but God also offers me grace when I mess up. God only wants what's best for me, and spending time with Him is always what's best. I also need to remember that He created me for fellowship, He loves me and misses talking to me. No relationship can be healthy without good communication.

Oh, how I want God to break me of my negativity, to use my imperfections to shine for His glory, to grow me and use me through them. How I want to be a good Godly mother, teaching my children not only through words but mainly by example the things of God.

God really spoke to me today through this article and I wanted to share it with you. Maybe it speaks to you too. Thanks for reading my ramblings once again. Love to all of you!

Picture

By the way, I forgot to tell everyone that the new pic behind my header is a pic my dad took up at Lake Tenkiller, Oklahoma in either May 2004 or 2005. Pretty good pic, huh? However, let me know if you like it in the header or not, I can't decide if I should keep it or not.

"The Worst Day of My Life"

OK, so this phrase..."This is the Woooorst Day of My Life" (imagine it in a whiny voice), has become one of my children's (who shall remain nameless) favorite saying and it is REALLY starting to irritate me! Anytime this child doesn't get their way or has to do something they don't want to do, that is what comes out of their mouth. The other night I heard much crying, lamenting, screaming & "The phrase" for about an hour simply because they did not want to take a shower. They have also started saying "it", crying, etc. and giving me great anguish over having to do their homework. Then tonight I heard the same crying, lamenting, screaming & "The phrase" because they didn't want to go to school tomorrow and have to take a quiz. "I hate school, I don't want to go, I don't want to take that quiz, this is the worst day of my life, I hate my life". (Is this child melodramatic or what? Hmmmm, wonder where they get that from? :) ) This also went on for around an hour tonight. I try to ignore it, which seems to only make it worse. So I finally said, "Every time something doesn't go your way you say "That phrase" and how do you think that makes me feel to hear you say you hate your life"? No Response. I mentioned that their life could be a lot worse and gave a few examples, which they agreed would be worse. I also told them that EVERYONE goes to school at some time in their life and has to take tests. To which they replied "not homeschooler's". To which I replied, "yes they do, they still have to study, do homework and take tests, they just do it at home instead of a school building". This is the second time within the last couple of months that I have gone through this with this child about taking tests. I'm hoping they were just tired and that they don't really have a problem with anxiety about test taking. I'm afraid they may be a perfectionist and that they stress over not getting their school work done perfectly and on time. By the way this child did get all A's on their report card, which is great! I don't think I have said or done anything to put pressure on them for grades, I praise them when they bring home good grades, but have never said that they HAD to bring home A's. Hopefully this is just a stage and we'll get through it, I guess only time will tell.

More Trouble at School

So after having the preceding posts conversation with the girls about getting in trouble at school, Daniel says, "I got in trouble today too for doing nothing". Nothing? OK, this has got to be good. So I asked, "what happened"? He says that during Rise & Shine, this is their meeting that they have every morning with the whole school, going over announcements, saying the pledges & school creed, etc. He says that the school has said before that you do not have to say the pledges, so during the Pledge of Allegiance he and his friend were just talking but that the teacher standing near them said that they were jumping around and playing". OK, first of all I was in shock that the school told them that they do not have to say the pledge, then I was angry that Daniel was so disrespectful of the flag to not do it AND to talk during it! Anyway, he finishes by telling me that they had to go see the principle and his homeroom teacher had sent a note home that a parent had to sign and send back. So now it's my turn..."OK, so a teacher exaggerated about you and your friend, you were just "talking" during the pledge"? Daniel..."Yes" Me..."OK, I don't care if the teacher exaggerated I am shocked that you would talk during the Pledge of Allegiance, I don't care if they told you that you didn't have to say it, I'm your mother and I'm saying that YOU DO have to say it. People died for that flag to give you the freedoms you have in this country and you WILL respect it and say the pledge. Your dad is really going to be angry about this one. So next time if your friend tries to talk to you during the pledge you better just ignore him, say the pledge, and talk to him afterwards." Daniel..."OK" Oh, the nerve, I thought I had taught him better than that, I was so disappointed in him. Once again a teacher and now a principle too, must think I'm a terrible mother for not teaching my son to respect the flag. AAAAUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!

Trouble at School

My son received the new game Rock Band to go with his XBox for Christmas. Now Rock Band is multi-generational, all the adults, family and friends, who have tried it love it and it can be addicting. However, it is rated T for Teen, for some mild inappropriate lyrics. Now mind you Daniel is 12, but my girls are 7 & 4 and of course anything Daniel does the girls want to try, but it is a bit too hard for them. But they like the music, so they'll sit in there and listen while he plays. During the school year we also watch another 7 year old little girl after school 'till her parents get off work. So when school started back last week and she came over for the first time since before Christmas break my kids wanted to show her everything they had gotten for Christmas. So now, thanks to us, she has heard the Rock Band music as well. Weeeellll, today after school in the van on the way home she tells me that she can't sing one of the songs on Rock Band anymore. I'm thinking uh-oh, what have I done. So I asked her which one. It's a song called "Creep" by Radiohead. The chorus lyrics are as follows..."I"m a creep, I'm a weirdo, what the he** am I doing here, I don't belong here...etc.". Now when we sing it we either leave the he** word out or change it to heck. But the lyrics appear on the screen, so I guess she read them. Anyway, I asked her if she had told her mom about it to which she replied "yes". So I asked her what her mom said and she said she couldn't remember. Well by this time we have picked up Daniel and he is getting in on the conversation and he asks her why she told her mom, he's thinking he's the one who looks bad for letting her play his game. She says she told her mom because "we" had gotten in trouble at school yesterday for singing it. To which I replied who's "we"? Well, it was her and Kathryn. So now I want to know why Kathryn didn't tell me about it. Of course, she said she "forgot", which, knowing Kathryn, she probably did. After further questioning it was the teachers aide who heard them singing it and just told them not to sing it anymore. I told them that when Daniel sings it he changes the words, but that it would probably be best if they not sing it at all anymore. So now the teacher's aide and the other little girls mother must think I'm a terrible mother for letting 7 year olds listen to that kind of music. I guess I probably am, I'm sure it's not the first time and it won't be the last that someone thinks I'm a terrible mother. Oh well, such is life.

New Name

OK, so my sister FINALLY read my blog and called me and wanted to know how to vote on the poll. Well, the poll ended yesterday, so I asked her which one she was going to vote for, and she chose Beishline Bylines, which gave that one 2 votes, so I guess that makes that one the winner. Hope you like the new name.

Poll

As you can see the poll to pick the name for our blog was a huge success! :-P Guess we'll just keep what we got.